What should I do?

[Ssriruinedmylife]

Hello my name is Max I’ve just turned 17 and I took Prozac for 3 weeks a couple of months ago because my mom pushed me and blackmailed me to take them. I was in deep grief for a couple of months because my girlfriend (who meant the world to me) died in a car crash (in may this year). My dad died also in december 2018 and I was also going trough grief because of that. I was really devastated and vulnerable because of the events that occured in my life, my mom told me everyday that I was mentally ill and that I needed to medicate myself because she told me that she was going to neglect me if I wasn’t going on them.

So I took them and on the first day taking them I felt like my balls where getting numb but I tought that it was like a normal side effect or something so I continued the drug for 3 weeks and quitted them because I became really suicidal in those weeks for the first time in my life, I was also getting really aggresive and I wanted to feel like a normal human being again. So I quitted them and on de second day after I stopped taking them I got voices in my head and I began hallucinate. (I was really terrified about that because I never had symptoms like that.)I didn’t sleep for two nights. After these nights of pure terror and that I was out of touch with reality I at an high intensive care for mentalhealth and they gave me antipsychotics to get some sleep: and they worked, I went out like a light. 3 months after all this bullshit I still feel really medicated: I cant feel my penis (no orgasms), I’ve constant DR DP, No emotions (not even the grief and I dont feel heartbroken wich I really was before these drugs), I’m still hallicunating and hearing voices, I have cognitive issues, I feel like my sexuality and personality are ripped away of me and last: I am not passionate about things anymore: I’m ussualy a musician and a baseballplayer for the Dutch national team.

So all of this happened because my mom pushed me to take these poisons. I’m constantly thinking about commiting suicide because everyday is a complete hell. I’m just 17 and I feel castrated, this is just crazy. The only thing that I ever needed was love and when I got it I was the happiest kid on earth, but she died and I miss her everyday. But now I feel like I’ve lost the ability to feel love and it’s pure torture.

I’m really terrified and scared about the future because I really don’t want to die but I can’t life feeling like a zombie.

So if anyone has options for me about things that I can do: feel free to respond, I would really appreciate it.

And are there any improvements for finding a cure?

Can someone please help me out? What can I do? I’m willing to do everything to get my life back.

-Max.

[squirtleSquirtle]

What dose of prozac were you taking?
How many months ago did you get off of them?

If it's only been a few months then my best advice would be to just hold on and wait to see if things return to normal. I've heard of people bouncing back months after they stop taking the drugs, so for now I would keep an open mind about your situation.

How has your relationship with your mom been since all of this happened? Has she been supportive of you since you experienced all of those awful side effects?

I'm honestly so fucking sorry you had to go through all of that man. That's a lifetimes worth of tragedy to happen in one year at your age, and I understand what its like when the adults you depend on make bad decisions for you in a time of their own weakness.

There is some good research in the works on this problem. My brother is even reading through all the PSSD research papers right now to begin his own research proposal for this coming year. There are a lot of reasons for all of us (you included if you don't heal naturally in the next few months) to be optimistic. You'll find nothing but friends who understand you on this forum and all of us are trying to solve this issue by contributing what we have to offer. I can't promise we will solve this tomorrow, but we WILL solve it. I know ive told you that a thousand times but its the truth! It's just a matter of time at this point.

In the meantime though, you need to figure out how to setup a life of meaning for yourself. I'm happy to help you figure things out further. Start by telling me more about how your mom has been with you since this all happened.

Just don't feel alone. Youre not, and let that fact be the rock from which you build yourself back up. Okay?

I'm also hoping others on this forum put in their advice.

[Optimist]

Hi Max,

I'm really sorry to hear about the year you've had. You've been through so many things that I don't know where to begin. All I can say is that you are 17, and that you have so much more to live for. Sex is important, but there is more to look forward to and find meaning in. Given what you've been through, I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that you have PSSD. And if you do, look to this community for support. There are some great people on here researching the condition looking to find a cure. It's just a matter of time.