My story (escitalopram)

[NeverBeenTold]

Hello, I am a 24 year old male from the Netherlands. I was given escitalopram (in conjuction with olanzapine) last year (september 2017) for OCD, social ''phobia'' and ''Body Dysmorphic Disorder'', my main issue. If I remember correctly, i took 5 mg of escitalopram for 5 days and then 10mg of escitalopram for 2 days. Within the first day of 10mg i felt a lack of appetite and my sexuality was gone completely. Off course i wanted to stop this ''medication'' immediately. After seeing a psychiatrist i stopped and my sexuality returned, but not to the same extent as it had been before. At the time I was in a state of depression and hopelessness, and didn't really worry about it, i was very happy that at least it had returned to an extent. The months after I started feeling better and better, I was beginning to love my life and appreciating my identity and enjoying life again. OCD and social phobia is gone almost completely and the BDD i can live with. It was in this period that i began to see the change in sexuality as a real problem and around May 2018 i consulted my doctor and he arranged for me to do a seamen/fertility test and also sent me to a urlogist and sexuologist. The result of the seamen test, they said it was good and I should still be able to have children, so they said. The urologist couldn't find abnormalities and said the possibility of permanent damage was ruled out. The sexuologist said that my problem was I'm worrying about it to much. I was very happy with these results and actually started to see improvements, but once in a while I would search for imformation about this on the internet and it has only been recently that I discovered there is a name for this condition: PSSD. My symptomps are: during the days of 10mg: my sexuality was gone completely, like i said. When i stopped it returned immediately, i had arousal, i had ejaculations/orgams but my penis was never fully erect, lets say half erect, also the sperm was watery. Last summer when I was noticing improvements, these were: spontanouas erections, penis being fully erect again (even if only for a brief moment), nocturnal erections (rare), sperm seemed to be thicker and whiter again and blasting out a bit more instead of drippling out. I'm typing this a bit more than a year after I have taken the escitalopram and my sexuality still has not restored 100%. Not every day is the same, the main problem is erectile disfunction, although most of the time, my penis is near fully erect, just short of being hard/long enough for sex. Often my penis is fully erect, but only for a short time. What gives me great hope is that there have been improvements. For the past few weeks I have been reading on this forum and most of what I've read is very depressing (including people on this forum who have (understandibly but extremely saddening) commited suicide because of PSSD)but there also seem to be positive stories of people who claim they have healed from PSSD 100%. I would like to understand more about what may be going on with me and I hope some people will comment on my story. Before I forget, I must also say that I have noticed some balding on the back of my head since escitalopram, but it's not very severe and sometimes the hair comes back and there could also be other reasons for this offcourse. Also my right testicle seems to pop out of the scrotum into my body sometimes, but I don't know if this is a problem and PSSD related, I think this occasionally happened before PSSD. I apologize if this was bad English, I hope to hear back from any of you.

[NeverBeenTold]

I forgot to mention: I have had Fluoxetine for a very short time when I was 18 years old, but I never had any sexual ''side'' effects. I've been reading other people's experiences on this forum and the common themes are incredible.

[Alte.Brown]

Hello NeverBeenTold,
Well, sorry to hear about your story. I’ve got PSSD too from escitalopram too, but in higher dosis and more time. OCD too. And it was only 3 months ago I confirmed it’s PSSD.
I just think we gotta keep looking for a solution, until we find it. Meanwhile, try to improve our condition as much as possible to make it easier to live with it. I’m also new to this forum, there are great people here. I think that keeping positive, active and spreading the word about this illness is extremely important. Big hug!

[NeverBeenTold]

Hi Alte.Brown thank you for replying I appreciate it very much. How are you now? Have there been any improvements in your condition? Do you have any advise for me what I could do to confirm if this is PSSD or something else and what I could do about this and do you think there is any hope for us? I wish you well, much love from the Netherlands

[Alte.Brown]

Well, unfortunately I am not the most hopeful case these days..hehe I have to say since some weeks now my condition went a bit worse ( at least I guess so) ED has intensified more (I’m planning to take some Tadalafil to improve this, I hope so, I’ve gotta a date tomorrow.. ) On the other hand, I’m starting to feel less my orgasm when I have one. This last thing is new, I usually had no problem with orgasm.
I have to get some blood test results in a few days to see how the levels of hormones are.
We gotta keep our hopes high, and work so that the scientific communities can do more and more research on the intrinsic reasons of PSSD. In my case doses of escitalopram were really high and during long period ( everytime I remember this I wanna beat the s. out of my psychiatrist, but no, that’s not the way.. I try to keep focus on a possible solution ) , , on top of that my OCD doesn’t make me sleep as I wish sometimes.. I face a difficult situation.
I think a possible solution should come from the scientific community, of course they have their own time and it’s not hard to get anxious when you suffer from this.
By the time, I’m trying more natural approach, some vitamins supplements etc and try to sleep more.
Regarding the way to confirm or not, I can tell you my own experience as I think there is not a “formal” or “standard” procedure to diagnose this, I mean not like an blood test or something, at least by now. But what is clear at least in my case, OCD never was a problem for my sexuality, even in the worst time of my OCD, my libido was incredible high, erections were hard as steel and never problems with ejaculations. I can be 99.99% sure it was that drug. And I have most of the symptoms the rest of the people describe: ED, low libido, premature ejaculation, I even have that sensation of penile shrinkage.. so as you see too many “coincidences”.
As for the hopes. OF COURSE I think there are hopes my friend. Surely, I wish I had never taken that f. pills. but we are here, and PSSD put us to the test, it tests what you are made of, it tests your capacity to face the hardest situations, your resilience.
Meanwhile don’t let PSSD steal any second of your life. You read my symptoms? Seem rather awful, they are. Do you think I’m gonna miss the chance to be with a girl? Not a single chance.
A hug from Argenitna!

[NeverBeenTold]

The symptoms are a bit worse for me these past few days too. Like you, I never had this problem before either, during my periods where I was very troubled by OCD etc. sex was always something to 'escaspe into' and a big part of making life worth living. Some days I can cope with this to an extend, some days are very hard, like this day, but your positivity does me much good and maybe your approach of not letting PSSD get in the way of engaging with girls, is the right one. I hope your date went well, is this Tadalafil any good?

[Snake]

Welcome NeverBeenTold! We all know it's hard, but do not let the negativity get into your life! Some people here are severly depressed because of this illness and you need huge amounts of understanding to be able to read some posts here. There will be a cure, it's only a matter of timer!

[NeverBeenTold]

Thank you very much, Snake!

[NeverBeenTold]

I'm taking some vitamin supplements. Libido as well as erection strength and duration seems to be better. What I'm taking now is folacin, niacin and a male multiple (https://www.amazon.com/Solgar-Male-Mult ... =UTF8&th=1). I'm not saying this is a solution or whatever, but I'm doing somewhat better since I've been taking them. I must admit my diet was a bit poor for the last month or so. Also I'm keeping in mind that my erectile problems may have another cause than escitalopram, not that I'm in denial but there is no official test to diagnose PSSD and some of the stories I've read on this forum since I signed up are much more extreme (no libido at all and genital anesthesia) I'm also planning to see some people in the alternative cure circuits. I will post back about that.

[NeverBeenTold]

This week I went to see someone in the alternative healing circuit, I'm not sure, but I think the Engslish word for it is bio resonance. When I called him and explained my problem in a few sentences, he said: ''what you have to do is detox. This can problaby be cured''. But when I went to see him two days later and talked to him in more detail about my problem, he admitted that this PSSD was new to him. He did measure some things and he gave me something to detox and I will let you know how it goes. I saw a video on youtube a while ago about someone who also claims he cured PSSD by detoxing.