Dating with PSSD - Justin OP

[HalfPerson]

One of the hardest parts about this is after you find a girl that you really love, you feel like you're letting her down. You want to give her the world, but there's one thing that you can't. It's the most intimate part of the relationship. It's something that you used to take for granted, but now have to worry about. That's shitty. Even though you know that the other person will be okay with it, you still want to be able to give them something that you can't.

You're so so right. You feel like a failure all the time. It's a sick-feeling inside all the time. PSSD has ruined my last two longterm relationships. It causes a rot in you, in her. It wasn't the sole reason in either case but its presence eroded the fabric beneath the relationships. As a man...you need to be passionate. and if you fail all the time...you never feel like a true man.

In the first, it was three years after CTing Prozac. I had bad PSSD. Really bad. But somehow managed to have sex on very rare occasions without using any erection aids. I had no libido but with a combo of foreplay and fiddling, I could manage to have sex. But I rarely WANTED it. Second one started less than a year after CTing Citalopram/Prozac. I NEVER had 'normal' sex with her. My stimulation levels were SO low. But Viagra worked real well. But that spontaneity you need...depressing. Lots of sex, though. Just no real arousal or pleasure feeling.

Now I'm back alone. It's such a horrible thing to look upon. With PSSD...you feel like a lesser man. You get scared of getting into relationships (and not being big-headed, but I am a tall, attractive man who the ladies love lots). It's a curse. I am the most equipped...but I am the least equipped. I want to date again soon...but I am frightened. I am weak. I feel incapable. I just see failure. It is a fucking nightmare.

[fema4psyciatrists]

Honestly girls look at my genitals and see nothing. If they still then want to hug to feel something, I cannot give them a hug and the hug they are looking for that can feel something. thats a deal breaker, right there. in this promiscorous world the hug intimacy test. and i now back off from a lower half hug on top of that. yes i am now ashamed of my genitals. and then only one girl has come to bed with me and realised she doesn't want to see me again suprise suprise.

girls want arousal because it is natural. also orgasm is natural.

Ive been whacked by evil psyciatrist combo drugs since I was 9. I remember jacking off before that age for long but after the medication I would prematurely ejaculate, have other people observed that? I have heard someone that hasn't turned into PSSD by that stage but said it also TURNED him into prematurely ejaculating. and besides from it being used to sexually make people last longer (or less longer potentially) as prescribed by some doctors. I remember changes of drugs making it a longer time to ejaculate until my brain chemistry had settled into the drug/medication.

I made a video with my face, do you think going public and a blog etc. might make a difference?

I feel so permanently violated

[HalfPerson]

I've got good genitals. But they just don't care about sex. Unless I pop a Viagra. But it's primarily a synthetic feeling. And sex is supposed to be spontaneous.

The disappointment is so hard to take. The disappointment in yourself, the disappointment from her. Failing, failing, failing, constantly, always getting knocked back.

When I have sex, it's usually numb. Sometimes, I can take ages to cum, other times I can be premature if I haven't touched it in a long time. I tend to thrust hard and fast to keep up a level of stimulation I can feel. Sometimes when I can't feel at all, I have delayed ejac, I remember one time I took about twenty minutes(!) I'm normally like 20% sensitive to sex feelings. And when I cum...I usually feel almost nothing.

I think premature ejaculation is a solvable problem. When you stop caring about sex, you tend not to touch the tallywacker. And as a result, it gets over-sensitised. I think desensitisation is possible but sensitisation???

It's so tough. I wanna get out there and date again. I have women chasing me. But I am SCARED of my secret. I return flirts but then pull away and hide. My disappointing problem that always eats away. The curse. My willy is fine. My libido...please just come back. I miss you so so bad.

[dananeedsmulder]

Lots of women yearn for a man less focused on penetration. If you can kiss, touch and lick a woman passionately you can still be a great lover with ED. Hell, there are even guys who have no penis and have satisfied sexual partners.

I agree penetration its not all

[lost_soul]

Some women may not be that bothered about the act of penetration, but that's not the main issue. The main issue is that if you have erectile dysfunction (especially when you're young) and no libido, you're not a real man. It's not politically correct to say that nowadays, but it's true. It's so constantly emasculating.

[naiverat]

I met a new girl who is pretty into me, and she's quite attractive. My sexual function is okay at best. It goes up/down depending on day and supplements/drugs I'm taking (which vary a lot, as I'm trying both to treat this and my awful anxiety).

I was in a relationship previously, and while I did have sex near daily, I can say without a shadow of a doubt I was far from my sexual peak throughout most of the relationship. I met her while on the SSRI and my function was still pretty good (just numbness / hard to orgasm) and I discontinued the SSRI because I didn't think it was doing anything for my anxiety and the slight sexual sides were annoying. After discontinuation, symptoms became much worse, with low libido and weak erections being the most prevalent of the problems. We still had sex and most of the time I could perform well enough, but it didn't feel the same as it did previously, except on rare occasions. It was more going through the motions to please her.

I can still have intercourse in theory, but I'm afraid to become intimate with anyone, for fear of performance problems. The anxiety disorder and resulting performance anxiety will certainly kill my erections, even if PSSD doesn't.

I'm so frustrated. Life feels like it's passing me by. I'm 23 and should be in my sexual prime. I've had attractive girls interested and have to make excuses about how I'm too busy with life to start something or still getting over another relationship...

Those of you who have enough function to have intercourse, even if not perfect, do you hold out on sexual relationships for fear of performance? Or do you embrace it, even if you may have little libido, it may be harder to get an erection, and may take longer to ejaculate?

Life, huh?

[zensan]

Some women may not be that bothered about the act of penetration, but that's not the main issue. The main issue is that if you have erectile dysfunction (especially when you're young) and no libido, you're not a real man. It's not politically correct to say that nowadays, but it's true. It's so constantly emasculating.

What do you mean especially when you are young I´m 42 now and was performing as good as when I was 20, or even better before meds... It´s so frustrating hear doctors say it´s your age when you KNOW it´s not your age or any medical problem (all are ruled out) or just "in your head". I just lost morning wood and nocturnal erections over night... And yes, I agree that the worst thing is that you don´t feel yourself a real man... I still got libido but what good is it if you can´t get erections?!

[WrongMeds]

Youre lucky if you can get someone who understands it and realises the turmoil pssd can put you through.

[squirtleSquirtle]

Ghost described the realities exactly right. That has been my experience to a T these past 4 years with PSSD.

[Charles10]

my relationships have fucked up by pssd, i wanted to feel love, ''i know that i love you but i cant feel'' is a nightmare, my second girlfriend was extremely comprehensive and i said all about pssd and my (lack of) feelings, and even so she wanted to be with me, she had been studying about pssd and understood me like no one else will. I wanted to love her, she was a beautiful and kind girl, but i ended up hurting her, i cant even talk to her that i didnt see a future for us, i just try to start a new relationship with another girl.... my relationship is good at first months, i can feel passion, but some time after, when the love comes, i cant have a reason to stay, and couldnt even know how to tell her.....