PSSD is like living in a 2-dimensional reality

[fasttrack1982]

I have had PSSD for four years now with no improvements. I know that PSSD and depression are two separate entities because I had both PSSD and depression in the beginning, and while I have climbed out of the gaping hole that is depression, my PSSD remains unchanged. I didn't develop PSSD until I was thirty years old, and I had been on antidepressants for ten years before it developed. For me, it is like going from living in a three dimensional world to living in a flat world. There is an entire dimension to my being that is gone. Sexuality is so much more than just sex; it's a way of thinking about the world. In the same sense that a person can lose their sight and go blind, I feel that way about my sexuality. I have no sexual thoughts, no sexual fantasies, no feelings of attraction or desire. I have never had a "window" where it was better. It's not as though my sex drive is the same just less, it is completely missing. I could meet a beautiful women and I wouldn't feel compelled to talk to her. I don't feel anything about it. Interacting with the opposite sex is so strange to me now; flirting is completely lost on me now. It as though your whole life you know how to ride a bike, and then you lose that ability and instead of your body naturally and unconsciously balancing you, you have to consciously try to control you body to keep the bike up. You can't use conscious intention to replace what were formerly natural inclinations. It almost makes me feel uncomfortable when I interact with an attractive women because I know I should be having certain feelings, and I just don't.

The only positive that I can think of is that I now make business decisions strictly based on rational thoughts, without my sex drive distorting things.

My sexuality was such a driving force in my life, and now it plays little to no role in my thoughts, or decision making. I don't even have dreams about sex. Sometimes when I try to masturbate, I just feel a deep sadness at what I have lost.

Strangely, I am still completely functional sexually in the sense that I can still get erections and have an orgasm, but everything else is gone. I am just feeling sad about it tonight and I wanted to share my experiences.

[Numby82]

Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I feel exactly the same (although I’m female) and had the same thoughts yesterday evening. Life is flat and this hurts.

[alteredhomeostasis]

Fast, looking over your postings it doesn't look like you've tried that much..

Try TRT for a month or two. There's a good chance that would help bring your libido back. It doesn't look like many people on here have actually tried TRT