New member, PSSD history and seeking direction

[thelonious]

I was first prescribed SSRIs in 1996 at the age of 32 for a very mild down stage of mind related to temporary professional and personal setbacks. If I recall correctly, I stayed on Prozac and then Paxil for a few years. At the time I was not sexually active, so although I believe I experienced genital numbness to some degree, it is difficult to say with certainty the effect it had on sexual arousal. I took myself off SSRIs after approximately 1.5 to 2 years because I hated the emotional blunting effect they had. I got married late at the age of 40 and I believe I experienced mild ED at times as a result of PSSD, but I was able to experience arousal and orgasm, although not as strongly as pre SSRIs. In retrospect, I don’t think I was ever the same intellectually, emotionally, or physically after the first round of SSRIs I took, but I have muddled through professionally and personally since that time. After 20 years and 3 children, I had a bad case of diverticulitis during a particularly intense professional period, which laid me up for a month and sent me into another mildly depressed state. My general physician prescribed a combination of Wellbutrin (which I suggested because it had helped me with mild anxiety once before) and citalopram. After just one day, I felt so bad physically (pain in the anus and genital area) and emotionally (utterly despairing and suicidal for the first time in my life) I told the doctor I needed to stop the citalopram and did after the second day. Since then, almost 2 years ago, I have had almost complete genital numbness, and it is impossible to achieve a full erection even with masturbation, porn, etc., or intimacy with other women. I can still achieve a full erection in the morning, but it is somewhat random, or related to arousal or genital manipulation. When I discovered the literature in PSSD 4 months ago, I realized that my symptoms and history fit the syndrome exactly, and I have no doubt that PSSD is the cause of my issues.

Cialis has helped with random erections, but has not improved the genital numbness. I have tried saffron extract and just recently l-citrulline, but with little effect on penile sensitivity. I just discovered this forum, and although I find it encouraging that there is a community working on PSSD related issue together, the variety of opinion and experimental treatment on the forum is a bit overwhelming.

So, to start, 2 questions: has anyone had positive experience with either l-citrulline or saffron extract? And what other options should I try to improve genital sensitivity? It’s very difficult to accept that this condition may be permanent, and I don’t want to give up hope for recovery.

[benjaminT]

Sorry to hear about your condition. Hopefully it will help to know that you are absolutely not alone. Citalopram caused my PSSD as well. Literally the first day I took it, I ejaculated blood and felt like my sexuality was erased. It persists to this day, 8 years later. Oddly enough, I don't have ED issues at all. I can get an erection easily and maintain it during sex. The problem is I don't want sex. I have no sexual desire whatsoever, and when I orgasm, sometimes I don't even know that it happened. I can totally relate to the genital numbness -- it feels like I have a finger between my legs instead of a sex organ.

There are lots of potential treatment options and quite a few success stories on this forum so please take a look around. The important fact is that you've come forward with your story, which benefits everyone with the condition.